I have been working with couples over a decade addressing variety of issues from communication problems, struggles with decision making as a team, emotional disconnect, intimacy problems, lack of personal & relationship growth, differences in parenting style or approach, surviving woes of young families with young children, and physical or emotional affairs, etc., just to name some common reasons why couples decide to pursue therapy. Let’s just be very clear, it was not so easy for most of the couples who were or are in therapy to initiate the process of scheduling an appointment with a therapist. A high percentage of couples’ report during initial consultation visit, they thought or debated, or pushed their partner to seek therapy for over at least a year or two before meeting with me!
You may wonder why it takes so long for couples to schedule their initial appointment? Or you may also have been debating over a year or so & feel like you can relate with this dilemma. I have discovered after working with many couples that it was not their busy schedule, kids’ activities, or monetary reasons preventing them scheduling their initial visit. It was the FEAR and ANXIETY! All the ‘WHAT IF’ questions. It was facing & admitting or accepting the PROBLEM(S). And, after accepting the problems, fear of not being able to change dysfunctional patterns and behaviors, then sudden death of a relationship! (gentle reminder, this is just a common fear).
Suffering relationships do end, not all, but a high percentage. The key is to find a therapist or other relationship professional right when you realize your relationship is not balanced. Even therapists or relationship professionals are not miracle workers, especially when couples wait too long to the point when divorce or separation tearing their family apart. They might already be living their worst fear & anxiety that stopped them from seeking therapy.
As a Marriage & Family Therapist, I encourage learning more about benefits of relationship or marriage therapy:
Face your fear & anxiety because your relationship is losing momentum when you could be creating positive memories with your partner.
Manpreet Lehal, NCC, LPCS is an outpatient therapist & founder of Wake Counseling & Mediation, PLLC in Fuquay-Varina & Apex, NC (opening a new location in Holly Springs starting January of 2017). Wake Counseling therapists work with children, adults, couples & families, to schedule appointment go to http://www.wakecounseling.com/