Do you wish your relationship with your soulmate is still as sparkling as it used to be in its early stages? Personally speaking, I don't think there is anything as beautiful as the early stages of an intimate relationship. The unending calls, the every morning and evening routine romantic texts, the dinner dates, the unexpected gifts, I can go on and on.

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They all add up to form the characteristics of an intimate relationship in its early stages. However, after a year, maybe two or three into that once mindblowing relationship, all you now have is a memory of how you and your partner could never have enough of each other when you are together and how you missed each other so dearly when you are apart. But with time all of that seem to have changed, and you are wondering what went wrong, why have the fireworks fizzled. For some couples, these changes are minor but for others it might be a drastic change leaving them feeling distant and unhappy.

Well, my answer to your curious thoughts is that nature took its course on your relationship. The stresses of raising families, building careers, meeting commitments, paying bills, made you both have little or no time for your relationship. Now, it is normal that in every committed relationship, each person wants to feel relevant and not being seen as a liability. And in doing so in most cases, people forget to reserve energy and set time aside for the nurturing of their relationship. This way, the fireworks start fizzling out, and each of you starts developing the feeling of emotional loneliness.

The million dollar question you would like to ask therefore is, How can I resparkle the emotional fireworks in my relationship? Here are 6 tips to help you with that.

1. Do the deed with your partner —at Least Twice a Week

Granted that love isn't and shouldn't be based on sex, but there is no denying the fact it does play a big role in maintaining happiness and satisfaction in a relationship. There have been cases of couples in America who sought divorce due to sex starvation by their partners. That alone should go a long way in revealing to you the importance of sex or lovemaking in a relationship. Therefore, it will do your relationship a world of good if you and your partner can do the deed at least twice a week.

2. Surprise your partner with random kindness

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Pleasant surprises have a way of leaving a mark on one’s memory. For instance, I don't think I will ever forget my last birthday. And why is that? Well, the reason is that - my partner surprised me by hosting a small birthday party when I least expected, I consider that gesture very romantic and still reminisce about it.  Anyways, that's just an example. It mustn't have to be a birthday party, just think about anything that can make your partner happy and when he or she least expects it, surprise him or her with it.

3. Look out for the positives in your partner and show appreciation

Rather than take dwelling on the negatives of your partner, develop the habit of focusing more and acknowledging his or her positives. Compliment your partner on the positives. Even on the negatives, if possible, don’t get angry – use kind and loving words to correct the behavior. Don't stomach how dear your partner is to you, let your partner know your world revolves around him or her and that you appreciate every little action of care shown to you.

4. Always grant your partner audience with openness of heart

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You are the number one confidant of your partner, so be ready to listen to him or her with an open heart at all times. Regardless of what his or her views are, you must be ready to see them objectively. This way, you will be able to accept your partner’s views because they are his or hers. Objectively granting your partner audience allows you to listen with an openness of heart and not from your anxiety or anger.

5. Never ever forget important dates in your relationship

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Remembering special dates in your relationship such as anniversaries and birthdays is always an opportunity to sparkle emotional moments in your relationship. So always do all you can to remember these dates even if it means you marking them on your calendar and make your partner feel he or she is the most special being on earth to you on such dates.

6. You and your partner should find a way to spend quality time together every now and then

I left this for the last because I personally think it is the most important. Not only does spending quality time with your partner represents a romantic act, but it also goes a long way in strengthening the bond between the both of you. Now, don't mistake quality time together for lovemaking, there are other ways you can spend quality time with your partner together that can sparkle emotions in your relationship than lovemaking. Having a low tone conversation with some wine, laughing heartily together, chilling together by the beach or even playing games together are some great ways you can spend quality time together with him or her. You mustn't wait till you can go on a vacation trip before you can spend quality time together.

Finally, as simple as these tips may seem, they can work magic in rekindling your relationship. They have worked in many happy relationships, and I'm pretty sure they will work for you just as well.

For more information, visit our couples counseling page or call 919-647-4600 to book for a session.

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