There are likely consequences to consider before having an affair with either a one night stand or a cordial continuous encounter.
You may think playing your cards well will always keep you safe from being caught. But it is time to stop daydreaming because nothing last forever.
Anita was a faithful woman who never enjoyed the benefits of marriage. She was enduring only because of the children and her godly background. Her husband, on the other hand, was a successful businessman who kept the cheque rolling. To him, he felt he was doing the needful. Although they had sex, Anita was never satisfied because it was long before she hit the climax. Anita was finding herself attracted toward other men. She mingled with a new set of friends who gave her the advice and encouragement to find the sexual satisfaction elsewhere. Anita broke the marital vows and kept on with her act.
Although it took years, nemesis eventually caught up with her as she contracted the killer disease. Why did she not have protected sex? The urge can sometimes be overwhelming that you just forget about that. Anita paid her share of consequences and it left her devastated without her husband and her children.
Are you afraid of similar problems in your marriage? I advise that you seek help from a therapist as a person, as well as couples. There are numerous dangers, surrounding extramarital affair.
As a professional therapist, I have witnessed and counsel couples for different reasons. Often a spouse may seek for something or someone else to blame to justify their adulterous life.
You and I know the truth. It was conceived initially in the heart, and the opportunity paved a way of activating the intention.
Below are the consequences of having an extramarital affair:
1. The development of guilt that produces stress, which leads to depression and/or anxiety, especially when the relationship becomes intensive.
2. The loss of love and attention from their children when the secret blows open.
3. The loss of focus and making unnecessary mistakes at work.
4. The loss of ties and health damage to their parents.
5. Most importantly, it produces the feeling of hate within oneself.
6. The children get affected by anxiety and depression.
7. The guilt makes the person lose the fun during the sex escape.
8. The individual end up being blackmailed by the person involved with or friends that are aware of the escape.
9. The individual may contact STD.
10. It leads to separation and eventually a divorce.
Such a traumatic experience is not what anyone would wish.
How does one stay clear of an extramarital affair?
A. Create a balance:
To overcome the hurdles of adultery, criticize and ask yourself if you can handle the shame and consequences listed above.
Retrace your steps to the first vows of “I do.” Does it mean anything to you? Ask yourself if you keep to your promise, and if not, you need to change for the better.
B. Get help:
Many people find it hard to understand themselves. There is no stigma in expressing your feelings and seeking help earlier before it becomes disastrous.
Thus, if you finally discover that it can't work anymore after seeking help, it is easier getting out, but if divorce is not an option, communicate and increase the intensity of your relationship as couples - this is where a professional can help.
C. Diversify:
It is usual to get attracted to someone else from your spouse that it begins to make you feel special and renewed.
Apparently, keeping it as friends is the easiest solution. Nevertheless, strictly avoid awkward situations like being alone together, having lunch, drinks or dinner together as your weakness might get the best of you.
What are the reasons for an extramarital affair?
The causes are the insignificant happening that we regard as common. From my experience as a counselor, below is a list of a few things that causes adultery.
- Lack of communication
- Sexuality
- Loneliness
- Revenge
- Unhappiness
- Constant differences
- Inability to perform
- Lack of chemistry
- Depression
- Domestic violence
Although majority finds a way to survive, others fail. Marriage takes so much work to keep it together 'till death do us part.'
Many elderly folks you see together today had numerous differences and difficulties coping as well as blending with each other at the tender stage of their marriage.
Marriage is not a bed of roses. It is easier being boyfriend and girlfriend. Unlike the unmarried relationship, the responsibilities of both spouses hardly create time for constant intimacy.
Since many build their marriages on gains without actual courtship, this has led to an enduring marriage rather than an enjoyable one; it still does not change the fact that marriage is sacred and should be cherished.
If you know you cannot handle the weight and the pains it carries along with it, do not attempt it. Please, visit a professional counselor or therapist and reignite the flame of love in your family once again.
For more information or to schedule appointment online, visit our couples counseling page or call 919-647-4600.