Growing up, you had this yearn for love, attention and care. You dreamed of moments when your parents or caregivers could actually look you in the face to ask you how you were doing. Or your feelings about things happening to you and around you. Being a child, you couldn’t open up to anybody especially after you experienced countless moments of loneliness, sadness and even crying.
However, you have grown to realize that your parent(s) might not be aware of the emotional neglect they caused during your childhood, perhaps they suffered same with your grandparents. Don’t try to deny this, you need a change, and that’s why you’re reading this blog. I will give you ways to overcome emotional childhood neglect and be your own loving and nurturing parent.
Ways to Overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect
You are already aware that your parents neglected your emotion without knowing, so the first step to overcoming childhood emotional neglect is to forgive them and put up the right attitude to change. People do benefit greatly by going to counseling or therapy to process their childhood and learn how to forgive. Change is the key if you ask me.
Other tips include:
1. Learn to Identify Positive and Negative Emotions
Have you notice that you do not always feel emotional or lacked words to describe the way you feel. This is because you grew up in a family where nobody how to care for each other’s feelings. One of the ways to deal with this is to be aware of the positive and negative emotion. Begin to consciously identify your emotions and talk about it to people. Therapy is a safe place to learn this skill. Don’t feel awkward or scared of people’s reaction or the way they might feel.
2. Be Compassionate to Yourself
One of the most painful things about childhood emotional neglect is that it leaves you to be extremely self-disciplined and hard on yourself probably because you do not know your feelings or how to identify it and go about it. However, to deal with these, you have to be kind to yourself, gentle and compassionate. At this point of your life, gently let go of being the critic of your own self, it might not be easy, but with determination, it could be achieved. For instance, when you begin to feel empty inside, remind yourself that you’re healing from all emotional pain and your broken wings will soon become strong. Your therapist can help you identify your strengths. Start from always identifying your emotion and be determined to change.
3. Identify your Needs
You often find it difficult to identify your needs because you were neglected even to the extent of placing other people's need before yours. This makes you lack a sense of purpose and probably what you wish to achieve in your life. You need to develop your emotions by developing your needs, if you’re confused about what you need in your life, then you owe yourself the right to quietly observe, write them down and accomplish it. People often struggle with identifying their needs, which can be brought up by someone like your counselor, who is there to give you feedback and challenge your negative coping mechanisms.
4. Be Open Minded
Although you’re trying to recover from the pain of the past, you can learn how to be comfortable in social situations. Deliberately cancel the feelings of isolation and rejection. Go out with friends and see how that feels. Allow yourself to experience new experiences.
Healing from the pain of childhood emotional neglect will help you become happier and be a better parent to your children because like it not many adults who grew up in an abusive household may end up repeating the same cycle of neglect with their own children. That should be enough to motivate you to make the change