We all want to raise happy and well-adjusted child(ren) - Independent children that will be self-reliant in the future. The fact is parents, both newbies and experienced ones, are completely dedicated to this cause. But we must all understand that whether you are a parent that spend hours on end with them or you are one of those that spend only a couple of hours during the week: the truth is that raising a happy and independent child requires lots and lots of effort.

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While having children is simply a natural act, being a good parent is much more complicated. Parenting a child that feels happy, competent, confident and also with a sense of passion and purpose is the dream of every parent today. Well, I am here to let you know that it doesn't have to be a dream; it is indeed possible and here are a few ways you can achieve this:

1. Put parenting first

Let me start by stating that once you're a parent, you have to start learning how to meet your & your child’s needs, sometimes your child’s needs may take higher priority over yours’s. This means making the sacrifice of spending more of your time caring for your darlings than you do caring for yourself. It is important to adjust your expectations according to the parenting role, for example, you may not have the flexible schedule to spend hours and hours on self-care after having children, you may need to learn to take shorter breaks for self.

2. Communication

Communication is important in every relationship especially this one. Do well to communicate with your kids regularly, ask them questions on matters that will make them think. By doing this, you give them a chance or ability to develop their own opinions. This kind of communication increases their curiosity and also improves their confidence. They also become more observant and perceptive about their environment and the situation they find themselves in. Communication also helps you as a parent, to understand what your kids are really interested in.

3. Be Positive

Parents who express negative emotions toward their kids (from infants to 5-year-olds) or handle them harshly are likely to find themselves dealing with aggressive youngsters later in life. Therefore, it is imperative that you're always warm, receptive and responds positively to them. Kids are greatly influenced by how their parents approve or disapprove of their speech and actions.

Not only will these positive behaviors help you raise a well-mannered and independent child but it will make you a better parent, and you'll have a happy family.

4. Eat dinner as a family

Before I go into this subheading properly let me hint on something here - make sure your child is properly fed. For them to be happy and on their best behavior they need their food, and nobody can argue with that. It is important that your kid enjoys a well-balanced and nutritious diet.

You must also understand that the dinner table is not just for sustenance and family business but also a place you can teach and pass on values, so I recommended that you always eat dinner as a family. Always try to make sure the dishes are visually attractive and tasteful too.

5. Don't aim for perfection

Expecting perfection every time from your kids will only make them more stressed out and less confident, you have to allow them make mistakes. Now, these mistakes made should be seen as opportunities and not unsuccessful attempts - when you allow these mistakes, they'll be able to overcome the fear of failures which in turn will enhance their level of confidence. But if they are scared of failures, then there's an even lesser chance of them trying anything new.

6. Do not compare

Comparing your child to a sibling or even other children is just a SIN. You must understand that your child is unique, he or she thinks, talks and acts in a special way. Try to identify their strengths and weaknesses as this will help you know what exactly you should focus on improving in him or her. When you focus and encourage this specific skill, you build him into being the very best since it's already something he or she is good at.

7. Build Kid's Independence

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Allowing your kid accomplish things on their own is by far the best way to build their independence and in the long run their happiness. Independence will not just make him explore his own interest; it will also enhance their problem-solving skills and help them in making good choices even when you're not present.

8. Timely Appreciation

As a parent, show your kids genuine interest and appreciation of what they are doing. Support their interest, be with them whenever you have the time as this goes a long way in motivating them. Appreciation reinforces a good behavior and should be thus practiced as often as possible.

Alright, that's it! I hope this piece has been able to enlighten you about ways you can raise a happy and independent child, remember to keep it fun and interesting! You can also share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

For more information or to schedule an appointment online please visit our Child Counseling page or call us at 919-647-4600

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