I have often heard people say moms are the heart of the home and I cannot agree with them more.
Even with both parents around, the life of moms is still a selfless one because they are there to meet the emotional, as well as physical needs of every member of the family. The life of moms is one filled with mixed achievement. Ask any mother, and she will tell you that her motherhood has been filled with triumphs and defeats.
The task can't be more difficult for single moms. For them, the task of being a mother can be a tireless one sometimes. They don't have vacation or sick days. In other words, they are always on duty 24/7 performing one parenting task or the other.
It is a well-known fact that two parents have never found it easy meeting the financial requirements of child raising. This aspect of parenting has a way of straining parents emotionally. If such parenting demands can make parenting a huge task for two parents, then you can imagine the emotional stress single moms go through on a daily basis.
Granted there is a popular phrase that says, “He, who wears the shoes, knows where it hurts most”.
But I can still say without an atom of doubt that, the experiences of single moms cause them to suffer mental health challenges every day.
Below are some of the challenges single moms go through each day:
1. Financial Vulnerability
Being financially insecure is the hallmarks of single motherhood. Most single moms struggle to stay above poverty level even though they are working full time.
In America for example, it is common to find most single moms taking refuge in shelters for the homeless. The result of such an uncomfortable life is depression.
2. Social Disconnection
Even though most singles moms never asked or wished to bear such title, still their social life suffers because they now bear the title.
Very often, their friendship base becomes reduced as the people they call friends who are supposed to be there for them especially during this phase of their lives, just go into self-exile.
This leaves single moms feeling hopeless and socially disconnected or alienated. Sadly they have to live everyday feeling this way.
3. Shortage or Lack of Sleep
The moment a mother starts bearing the title of a single parent, the stress of being a mother becomes tripled. She becomes the care provider of every single thing needed by her kid or kids. Even two parents will testify that, it is no mean feat meeting the needs of kids.
In an attempt to meet the needs of their kids, most single moms decide on working extra hours. Working extra hours coupled with housekeeping, laundry and other parenting duties expected of them make it difficult for single moms to have enough sleeping hours.
This sleeping inadequacy leaves single moms constantly stressed out and their brains overworked as a result of too much thinking.
4. Inadequate Self-Care
Single moms barely have time to care for themselves due to the challenges which they need to surmount in order to meet the needs their kids. As humans, without proper self-care, we find it difficult coping well with the challenges life throws at us which can, in turn, affect our mental wellness.
But unfortunately for most single moms, their parenting duties force self-care down the list of the things they need to do on a daily basis.
5. Living with the Psychological Effect of Abuse
Some single moms are into single motherhood because they decided to walk away when they couldn't cope any longer with the abusive way of life of their ex-spouse or partner.
As bold as such women are for deciding on quitting such relationships. Most of them still suffer from the psychological trauma from the domestic violence in their failed relationship with their ex-spouse or partner.
Very often, after going through abuse relationship(s) single moms suffer from mental related challenges like depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
6. Ongoing Conflict with the Other Parent
Those single moms whose route to single motherhood is through divorce still have the additional burden of conflicting with their ex. The other parent may be manipulative, holding back on playing his child support role or even violating the terms of divorce.
Such additional conflicting burden can cause single moms to experience mental disorders. The last thing they need is an added stressor to cope with.
If you are a single mom experiencing the above challenges, I would like you to know two things:
1) That you rank among the bravest people in the world and
2) That if you ever need someone to talk to, we have well-trained therapists at Wake Counseling & Mediation are always ready to listen and offer professional advice.