Children's behavior usually change as they move through the different developmental stages. Basically, because their socioemotional maturity goes together with the growth and development of their physical and cognitive aspects. Dealing with rebellious teens is tough, but as a parent, you must be able to know when it is just a phase they are going through or when it is the real deal.
When your teen is no longer traveling the road you set them on, when they are completely on a different path with foreign friends and headed to a destination unknown, it is only ideal that a concerned parent should source for strategies that'll get them back on track and yes it is possible! In fact, it is when they have stayed on this path for so long that they become rebellious and that's why you need to act fast before this bad behavior becomes chronic.
What is actually needed when any type of rebellion start surfacing in a teen, when their demands and disruptions regularly interfere with everyone else's sense of peace and happiness in your home - simple, "get to the root cause" of this. But here's the trick, this can only be achieved when a parent spends time trying to strengthen the connection with his or her teen. And in cases where this connection has long been neglected, a good teen therapy might just be the right solution, as he would act as a catalyst to open up your teen's issues and strengthen your relationship.
Take note: You really want to handle this quickly as it is important to stop a problematic behavior before it turns into a character or way of life, relation to and alienating others. So, here are a few tips for responding to a rebellious teen and of course getting them back on track.
1. Be consistent
This one is pretty simple yet here's where a lot of parents falter, do not punish a bad behavior one time and then let it go the next time. Primarily because you may be tired from the day's work or too caught up to monitor his or her whereabouts. You must make sure your teen knows that the rules are always going to be the rules and they set in place to keep him safe.
2. Address the behavioral manifestations, not the person
This simply means that you should keep your focus on your teen's behavior when addressing them. If you find yourself yelling about your teen's attitude, stop. Of course, it is difficult not to overreact when you keep getting complaints, and your teen keeps getting into trouble in school. Talk to your teen, focusing on his actions - explain to him or her how their actions are inappropriate, getting him or her into trouble and also harming others. Remember to be consistent as this may be the only way you might be able to get your message across sometimes. Also be careful to address the wrongdoing and not your teen as a person.
3. Letting them face consequences
Whether you like it or not, humans were made to react to this positive, and this natural approach of things goes a long way in turning problematic behavior around. Most well-meaning parents find themselves making the mistake of coming to the rescue when the consequences of their kid's actions come calling. But let me tell you what happens when you do this, instead of learning to take responsibilities for their actions (which basically is what life is all about), your teen learns that you will always rescue him or her. Now instead of calling up the teacher to put up an excuse for your teen when he or she fails to turn in an assignment, let the teen get a bad grade - that's it. Sounds brutal? Well, life is brutal, and if your teen doesn't learn that now, he or she will not be prepared for life when it starts hitting hard.
It is imperative that every parent identifies with the fact that not every behavior is rebellious, although a behavior is an outward reflection of something on the inside needing to get out, sometimes your teen just display them in a rather immature and inappropriate way. Try to connect when him or her and consult a teen therapist or expert even before you suspect it is getting too serious. Remember reacting harshly will only stir up frustration and stubbornness which will, in turn, push your teen even further down the wrong path.
For more information call us at 919-647-4600 or visit our teen counseling page to book for consultation and counseling